Mediation
2-party mediation opens positive lines of communication between people with high emotional stakes in a difficult situation.
Reflective Mediation specializes in separation and divorce, with experience constructing comprehensive agreements that cover all parenting and financial issues required under Ontario Family Law. Other family and workplace disputes benefit equally from this collaborative approach. Mediated solutions last, because the terms of agreement were created by you. As a mediator, I do not judge or decide; rather, I provide a safe place and facilitate a constructive conversation between you and the other party.
We focus on the future you want, not the problems of the past, and we work on developing attitudes and behaviours to deal with your issues in a new way. Enhanced mutual understanding helps to alleviate the stress that can result from differences. Opponents join the same team, collaborating mindfully on how to reach a mutually pleasing outcome.
Using approaches of nonviolent communication and motivational interviewing, I support you and the other participant(s) as you engage in a constructive conversation that helps each person feel heard and learn something important about the unmet needs of the other. From that point on, the participants have the positive attitude needed to come up with their own unique terms of agreement.
But first, what is mediation?
2-party mediation is a non-adversarial dispute resolution process, done in pairs or multi-party settings, in which a neutral third party (the mediator), who has no decision-making authority, facilitates a conversation to assist the disputants in voluntarily reaching a resolution that is acceptable to all sides.
Is mediation right for me?
Mediation can be used to resolve any kind of dispute. But it can only be successful when there is a mutual desire, and an honest willingness to resolve the dispute by respectfully listening to each person’s perspective.
Therefore, mediation isn’t the right method for everyone, especially in situations where there is a power imbalance, abuse or psychological factors that prohibit one or both parties from engaging in a constructive dialogue. In such cases, it may be more appropriate to take more adversarial approach, negotiated through lawyers, where decision-making authority is vested in an arbitrator of judge.
What does it take for mediation to work?
For mediation to work, the dispute resolution process needs to be:
Intentional
Each participant must be willing to engage in the process, understanding that at any time they can end it.
Autonomous
Each participant is responsible for determining the issues to be discussed and the outcomes that may be reached.
Confidential
Mediation is bound by strict codes of confidentiality. What is said during mediation stays in mediation and is never admissible in court except in extreme situations.
Safe
Mediation is a safe place where all parties can express their perspective and be heard. The mediator will work to neutralize power imbalances and ensure the process is fair.
Empowering
Participants are fully empowered to make decisions, (within the law) while the mediator has no authority to give advice or make decisions.
If mediation is right for you, here are the benefits you can expect:
Control over the outcome
In choosing mediation, you create the solution that best suits you through a voluntary process where no decisions are forced upon you. When mediation is successful (as it most often is), you will be ensured the agreement reached makes sense to you.
Control over the cost
Mediation is a faster process than going to court, in simple cases, an agreement can be reached in only a few hours. The hourly rates are lower than that of a lawyer, and the fee is shared between participants, making it a cost-effective solution. See my fees to compare costs.Control over time frame
Participants choose when, where and how frequently to meet. The length of time required to reach a resolution depends on the complexity of the case and commitment to settle of both parties. Sometimes a settlement can be reached in a single session as you are in a mindset of cooperating to find a solution, instead of judging who is at fault.
New perspective and deeper understanding
The process requires participants to engage in respectful communication to facilitate the process of gaining a deeper understanding and see the situation in a new perspective.
Renewed respect
When understanding the perspective on the other side of the dispute and searching for common ground, you acquire a greater appreciation of the opposing reasons that led you to this situation. This often leads to enhanced mutual respect.Lasting agreements
As disputants are empowered to reach agreements of their own free will, instead of having them imposed by a third party, solutions are longer-lasting, and the parties are more likely to abide by them.
What are the situations I can help you resolve?
Couples seeking separation or divorce are the most frequent clients at Reflective Mediation. Mike is experienced and qualified in helping you to resolve the parenting and financial components of complex marriage disputes.
Mediation can be used to help resolve almost any kind of difference. Reflective Mediation specializes in facilitating conversations to resolve misunderstandings in the family nucleus, in the workplace and at school, situations where long term relationships are at stake.
Note: A private screening is required with each participant prior to formal mediation sessions. Private meetings are not required prior to coaching, trainings and restorative justice circles.
Let’s discuss how mediation can improve your situation. I’m just a phone call or email away!
Youth
Children and youth who struggle to have their voices heard. Some remain silent, others act out in response to the uncertainties of their world. We engage and empower youth to become active communicators, accountable for their personal growth.
Adults
Partners and spouses experiencing separation/divorce who wish to uncouple consciously, divide assets fairly and co-parent amicably. We assist them as well as other adults, friends & colleagues to create lasting agreements.
Elderly
Adults struggling to care for elderly family members. We assist families to reach agreement among themselves and with their medical/legal team on the care that best serves the needs of elderly loved ones.
School
Students, families, teachers and admin staff who wish to resolve misunderstandings and maximize the educational experience for all stakeholders. We build understanding so solutions can be created that respect everyone’s needs.
Work
Employees and management who are seeking to increase workplace morale and productivity. From the CEO to the newest employee, improve communication and dispute skills will enhance well-being and the bottom line.
