CHILDREN
Introduction
We provide services for families with young children. Services are outlined below according to the following family situations:
a) Low conflict families, in which the marriage is not at risk.
b) Amicable separation or divorce, in which parents are separating with minimal conflict.
c) Higher conflict separation or divorce, involving parents with minimal or no communication.
LOW CONFLICT FAMILIES
BUILDING POSITIVE PARENTING SKILLS
Raising well-adjusted children is a challenge in even the happiest households. Parents who get along well on most topics may still have competing views on best parenting practices.
Topics that may be addressed include:
Establishing household collaboration
Addressing sibling conflict
Empowering autonomy and self-advocacy
Motivating impulse restraints
Encouraging initiative and productivity
Building connection with peers
Sessions may be held with:
a single parent
two parents
parents and child(ren) together
children on their own and together
(See “private coaching” under the “Services” tab for more on coaching services with Reflective Mediation)
AMICABLE SEPARATION
CHILD-INCLUSIVE MEDIATION
Mike MacConnell is trained & certified as a child-inclusive mediator. It’s an approach to marital disagreement or separation/divorce that keeps the best interest of the child front and centre, and offers the opportunity to hear directly from child(ren).
Adults need to make decisions. Children don’t make the choice - but they SHOULD have a voice.
Well-intentioned parents often have widely differing views about what is in the best interest of their child(ren). They may disagree about:
Residence schedule
Decision-making responsibility
Choice of school
Extra-curricular activities
Medical procedures
Religious instruction
Nobody wants a child to get caught between mom and dad.
CHILD-INCLUSIVE INTERVIEWS
And it’s hard to know their true views since children often express what they think each parent wants to hear. That’s where we come in. To discover the views of each child we offer safe, child-friendly interviews to gather objective information.
In-person with a male and female mediator always present
At a location familiar to the child (usually home or school)
In a relaxed manner, gently drawing out their views
Often involving playful, age-appropriate activity to begin
With sibling(s) present or alone, as preferred by the child
Often on more than one occasion to establish rapport with the interviewers, and to verify continuity of viewpoints
When conflict is low, information gleaned is communicated informally to the parents orally, and in writing to assist the parents in reaching a mutual decision.
HIGHER CONFLICT SEPARATION
VOC (VOICE OF CHILD) REPORTS
When parental conflict is higher and a court process is involved, Reflective mediation will undertake a VOC Report to assist a third party decision-maker. This may be initiated by court order or as requested by parents.
Under Canadian Family Law the ONLY basis for making a legal decision in the best interests of the child.
A VOC Report can be instrumental in assisting the court and parents to determine the best interests of the child.
A VOC Report is undertaken much as described above under Child Inclusive Mediation. The result, however, is a more formal written document used to assist the public court, or private arbitrator, in making an appropriate binding decision.
Why trust Mike MacConnell to help you navigate your child’s needs?
Mike MacConnell has been a member of the Ontario College of Teachers for over 30 years. He has been working with children and youth as a teacher, private school owner/director and guidance counsellor. He is an OAFM (Ontario Association for Family Mediation) certified Child Protection Mediator and is also an accredited mindfulness practitioner, certified to work with children, youth and adults through Mindfulness Without Borders and Sarana Institute.
